Hey everyone my name is Tony . I am currently a Brigham Young University student and I am Gay. I've been giving this blog a lot of thought for a couple of days and finally gathered the courage to start writing . Many of you guys are aware of the BYU honor code . These are a set of standards a BYU cougar should live by . Any violation of the honor code can get you evicted from the university . Although by doing this blog I might get expelled from the school, I felt a necessity to share my journey and story with all of you people out there and I am not afraid. If a BYU official comes across this blog, why would he or she be looking at in the first place? I am not frightened or intimidated by it at all . I
I guess you guys want to know how I know I am gay . When I was a kid I thought I was attracted to girls . I would hangout with them and become great friends . I wasn't aware of sexual attraction yet I just knew I like being around girls . After I discovered what it meant being sexually attracted to someone, I found myself looking at guys and getting arouse by them. When I was 14 years old I started becoming more curious about it and that's when I came across Gay Pornography. One day my mom came into my room while I was gone and she found that I was looking at adult material. She talked to me about it and I denied being Gay because I was afraid of hurting her . Even to this day she denies the idea of me being Gay but I think deep inside she knows . When I turned 18 I had my first kiss with a man. It was a guy who I met randomly. The kiss did not make me feel guilty but rather confused. As I experimented and explored my sexuality I got to the point that I wanted more. That's how I discovered Grindr .
Now wait a minute why would I come to BYU if I knew I was gay? For a moment in my life I wanted to deny who I was and I wanted to make my family proud by marrying a girl . I thought to myself that I could fall in love with a girl and I could leave my gay feelings aside . After some effort I found a girl that was amazing and I managed to love her. I took me a long time but I did get to that point . She was enrolled in BYU so I applied hoping things would workout . They didn't . She married another man a week before I came to BYU . So here I was stuck at a strange university with no girl . I tried to date another girl but she friendzoned me right away. I knew I wasn't being true to myself so I started meeting guys . This is one of the reasons of this blog. I will discuss the different guys I have met with . Some of them BYU students and I hope all of you can relate to these stories.
I hope you can learn the struggle of living an "Honorable life" while wrestling yourself in the inside.
I guess you guys want to know how I know I am gay . When I was a kid I thought I was attracted to girls . I would hangout with them and become great friends . I wasn't aware of sexual attraction yet I just knew I like being around girls . After I discovered what it meant being sexually attracted to someone, I found myself looking at guys and getting arouse by them. When I was 14 years old I started becoming more curious about it and that's when I came across Gay Pornography. One day my mom came into my room while I was gone and she found that I was looking at adult material. She talked to me about it and I denied being Gay because I was afraid of hurting her . Even to this day she denies the idea of me being Gay but I think deep inside she knows . When I turned 18 I had my first kiss with a man. It was a guy who I met randomly. The kiss did not make me feel guilty but rather confused. As I experimented and explored my sexuality I got to the point that I wanted more. That's how I discovered Grindr .
Now wait a minute why would I come to BYU if I knew I was gay? For a moment in my life I wanted to deny who I was and I wanted to make my family proud by marrying a girl . I thought to myself that I could fall in love with a girl and I could leave my gay feelings aside . After some effort I found a girl that was amazing and I managed to love her. I took me a long time but I did get to that point . She was enrolled in BYU so I applied hoping things would workout . They didn't . She married another man a week before I came to BYU . So here I was stuck at a strange university with no girl . I tried to date another girl but she friendzoned me right away. I knew I wasn't being true to myself so I started meeting guys . This is one of the reasons of this blog. I will discuss the different guys I have met with . Some of them BYU students and I hope all of you can relate to these stories.
I hope you can learn the struggle of living an "Honorable life" while wrestling yourself in the inside.
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